Adult Halloween candy sounds a bit dirty like erotic lollipops carried as part of a "naughty schoolgirl" costume. Fortunately, this column doesn't get any dirtier than the previous sentence.
Kids think about Halloween candy as a reality starting on October 31. Adults start thinking about Halloween candy much earlier. Chances are you already have bought some or all of the Halloween candy.
Some people can't handle having the bags of candy in their house, waiting for the big day. They might feel tempted to break open a bag to try out the candy. But we have good news: you can buy Halloween candy just for adults.
Buy some really nice chocolate for yourself. High quality, dark chocolate. If you enjoy the nonpareils, the chocolate drops with the shiny white "beads" on them, this is your time.
Not everyone who buys Halloween candy is a parent, but they are adults. Parents understand the concept of "this is for adults" and "this is for children." The idea is to create a separation in the house. The "adult" candy is for the adults; the "children" candy is for the children.
The candy you buy for yourself shouldn't be that tempting to the child. They won't want you to break into that supply for them. Kids know that their focus has to be on the candy valuable to them. They can't waste time on the idea of candy that isn't in their wheelhouse.
Good candy management makes all the difference on Halloween
Children are smart enough to know the difference between adult and child candy. Adults are smarter than children, so by transitive property, adults should really know the impact of adult candy vs. children candy.
So what does having "adult candy" accomplish in a household?
- The children candy no longer is a temptation. It's not for you. That candy serves you no purpose. Besides, you have your own candy.
- You're still eating candy. But adult candy is not as binge-worthy as children candy. Adult candy is consumed in smaller amounts and meant to be savored.
- Adult candy takes longer to consume. So you can't make the excuse that you are out of candy for yourself when you still have candy.
- Eating less candy over a long period of time is still eating candy but you consume far fewer calories with better taste.
- If you have adult candy, watching children eat their candy isn't a trigger since your candy is an option.
This idea of adults eating children candy doesn't come up in September or July. The children candy at the supermarket checkout isn't a consideration in March or August. October is a trigger month because candy is everywhere.
This battle between adult candy vs. children candy isn't so much about candy, but about nostalgia. I loved 3 Musketeers bars as a kid, especially if they were a little bit cold. For about 35 days a year, a 3 Musketeers bar is tempting. The bar is tempting not because of the taste of the candy bar but, because, nostalgia.
I remember eating a 3 Musketeers bar. I also remember eating bologna sandwiches as a child. I don't want to go back to eating bologna sandwiches or 3 Musketeers bars.
My nostalgia is for Kentucky Fried Chicken back when the chicken was cooked to a dark brown on the outside. My nostalgia is for a time when you could buy a soft drink off the shelf, any soft drink, and know that high-fructose corn syrup was a strange concept that wouldn't make sense to the palate.
When I do have a need for candy or something sweet, I have a list of possible adult sweet options. Children candy isn't on the radar.
My tastes are not the same as when I was a child, thank goodness. My adult palate is much more enjoyable. I appreciate nonpareils.
"Member berries" is a creation from the current season of South Park. Eating the member berries brings back nostalgia, the yearning for a simpler time. The berries themselves talk about some past time and memory.
Have those wonderful memories of being a child eating Halloween candy. Enjoy those memories. But you don't have to relive those memories for yourself.
Give out Halloween candy to children. Watch the joy in their eyes. If you have kids, watch them eat their candy. Live the Halloween candy experience through others. You have had your fun with children candy. Embrace your adult candy, adult tastes. Let children enjoy their candy; you enjoy your candy.
photo credit: South Park/Comedy Central