We might explore a blog entry on the best food films of all time: Tampopo, Chocolat, Mostly Martha, Like Water for Chocolate, Eat Drink Man Woman. Maybe even the recent Juliette Binoche film The Taste of Things, though we wish the movie had kept its original title The Pot-au-Feu.
Five Easy Pieces (1970) is not about food. The one food scene isn't really about food but about rules and order. This scene does belong in the high stratosphere of food on celluloid.
Let's give some proper credit for this film scene. Bob Rafelson and Adrien Joyce developed the story. Joyce wrote the screenplay and Bob Rafelson directed the film. Jack Nicholson famously plays Bobby and some love to a character role with Lorna Thayer as the waitress. Helena Kallianiotes briefly speaks in the scene as Palm Apodaca.
The film also features Karen Black, Susan Anspach, Lois Smith, Ralph Waite, Toni Basil, Fannie Flagg, Sally Ann Struthers, and Richard Stahl.
Here is the scene (in case the video doesn't work):
Bobby: "I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee and wheat toast."
Waitress: [points at his menu]: "No substitutions."
Bobby: "What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?"
Waitress: "Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two, a plain omelette, it comes with cottage fries and rolls."
Bobby: "Yeah, I know what it comes with, but it's not what I want."
Waitress:: "Well, I'll come back when you make up your mind."
Bobby: "Wait a minute, I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast."
Waitress: "I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast. I'll give you an English muffin or a coffee roll."
Bobby: "What do you mean you don't make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?"
Waitress: "Would you like to talk to the manager?"
Palm Apodaca: "Hey, mac..."
Bobby: "Shut up." [to the waitress] "You've got bread and a toaster of some kind?"
Waitress: "I don't make the rules."
Bobby: "OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelette, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce, and a cup of coffee."
Waitress: "A number two, a chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, and the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?"
Bobby: "Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules."
Waitress: "You want me to hold the chicken, huh?"
Bobby: "I want you to hold it between your knees."
Waitress: [points at a sign behind her] "You see that sign, sir? Yes, you'll all have to leave! I'm not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm!"
Bobby: "You see this sign?" [he sweeps all the glasses off the table onto the floor]
The moment at the end of the diner scene where Bobby sweeps all the glasses off the table after arguing with the waitress was inspired by Jack Nicholson actually doing this himself once at a coffee shop, when the manager took his coffee away despite him only having just arrived, because the group of fellow actors he'd joined had been there for hours and were being told to leave.
I was made for substitutions. Ordering something as is would be against my religion, if I had one.
There is an Italian restaurant on Erie Street East in Windsor, Ontario where I dine a few times once a year. I love their arrabbiata sauce but the menu says Penne Arrabbiata. I ask for the sauce with spaghetti instead. Every server treats that as a normal, almost expected substitution.
My favorite hamburger place in Chicago: always order lettuce and pickles on the side. Get that right every time.
We've talked in the past about ordering McDonald's hamburgers without onions to get them freshly made instead of sitting under a heat lamp getting cold. McDonald's French fries without salt to get them freshly made.
I used to get the Corner Bakery Cafe chopped salad without avocado until I realized that was an unnecessary texture move. The salad was a romaine blend with grilled chicken, bacon, bleu cheese, avocado, tomato, green onion, and a house vinaigrette. In the olden pre-pandemic days, that was my go to food. They made a downgrade substitution in the quality of the chicken (complete with fake grill marks).
Places such as The Bear or Ever (within The Bear), which are not real but based on real places, have menus set up where you are supposed to embrace their vision as is. Sometimes that gamble is worthwhile. I had trust in Alice Waters at Chez Panisse in Berkeley, CA and that worked out. Most places aren't Alice Waters in terms of trust.
If I like a combination, trust isn't an issue with potentially no substitutions. If I like some of a combination, I have to decide whether that is a worthwhile option in ordering.
My father, who often verbally abused me at the dinner table when I was 10 or 11, was a go-along, get-along type of diner. He ordered whatever was on the menu and ate it. He had the stomach of a politician. I do not. I really hated how he treated me in those moments, even if I have some understanding on why he felt the way he did.
I am not a fan of raw onions in most circumstances. Yet when I tried pickled herring in Amsterdam in 2015, I ordered the dish as is with pickles and raw onions. I have fewer dishes than fingers on a hand where I will eat raw onions and pickled herring is one of them: Pickled herring, Detroit coney dog, Cincinnati chili (making it a 4-way).
As much as I love poutine avec French fries, squeaky white cheese curds, and a beautiful brown gravy — my favorite combo along that line is smoked meat instead of the cheese curds. We are big believers in trying an authentic dish as is before trying substitutions, e.g., pickled herring, poutine. I have had enough dishes of classic poutine to experiment.
My favorite poutine place in Windsor moved away from downtown during last year's film festival. They carried smoked meat and easily substituted that. The Canadian chain that is still downtown doesn't carry smoked meat.
The realities of eating out are that sometimes you can substitute freely while substitutions can be a pain in the neck. I would love a place with fries and gravy that served snack size portions of other potential toppings, such as smoked meat. Being selective aka picky is a harder way to live but more authentic if you are that kind of a person.
video credit: Movie Clips
photo credit: Five Easy Pieces
