Coffee Mate marketing campaign shows U.S. food marketers can get away with a lot

This current Coffee Mate campaign has been driving me bonkers. People are excited about pouring this white powder, how using the product is a way to show distinct style — by all using the same product.

Food marketing is designed to make the product as appealing as possible. That seems fair, as long as there is a reasonable connection, and you have some idea that what you're seeing isn't literal.

Dealing with the hype of food marketing is one pitfall in trying to eat better.

I preface all of this by noting that I don't drink coffee. If I did drink coffee, I wouldn't think to use that kind of product. I did think the ad campaign didn't fit the product in a more obnoxious way than normal. Having writing about marketing in the past, I have a more cynical radar than most people.

So I decided to see what was in Coffee Mate. What would be in this product that would make people feel so excited about using it?

The term non-dairy creamer seemed a true contradiction. Cream implies dairy, but there were many contradictions in processed foods, so let's see what we got.

In the ingredient list, you can virtually ignore everything in the "2% or less" category. If something you like is in the 2% or less category, there isn't much in it. Things that are not good for you can lurk there, but again, there isn't much there there.

Pulled up the regular Coffee Mate product. There were 2 main ingredients each above the 2% or less line.

Corn syrup solids and partially hydrogenated oils.

Yikes! No, that doesn't cut it. Double yikes?!

"Corn syrup solids" is a fancy word for sugar and sweetness. Sugar would seem healthier for you than "corn syrup solids" and sound more pleasant to put in your mouth. If you've forgotten the trans fat phase, partially hydrogenated oils are an excellent source of trans fat.

I'm sure in the fine print — in the 2% or less category — there is something to make it white and maybe add a little flavor.

This is what you are drinking if you pour this stuff in your coffee, or eat it straight.

Later, I ran across a liquid form of Coffee Mate. The top ingredients were water, high-fructose corn syrup, and partially hydrogenated oils.

The last two ingredients are not ones where anyone — other than food manufacturers — can get excited. The only reason you should be dancing over corn syrup solids and partially hydrogenated oils is if you are making lots of money over selling the product. Even then, you should feel a little bad.

Now if your day really depends on pouring this stuff into coffee, because you need the coffee and the taste, such as it is, and this product makes it easier to drink the coffee, then you'll keep using the product.

Outside the U.S., in most industrialized countries, laws are designed to make sure food manufacturers post labels that are more truthful. The idea that a food manufacturer can refer to this product as a "creamer" — non-dairy or otherwise — should be investigated by the Federal Trade Commission.

Which sounds more appealing and which sounds more truthful? Non-dairy creamer vs. coffee whitener.

In Canada, Coffee Mate is a coffee whitener. In the United States, it's a non-dairy creamer.

If you live in the United States, you should know by now that you are at the mercy of food manufacturers. So you might as well start being more pro-active.

Read a food label every so often to see what you are really buying. If you have children, bring them along and have them read the ingredients out loud. If nothing else, they'll learn to say a few new words and maybe pick up some critical analysis skills at a young age.

Yes, sugar and cream have calories, and there are people who are lactose-intolerant. But sugar and cream are real food with real ingredients. Don't you deserve better than fake?