When news of the Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza with a hot dog first arrived, the saving grace was that the pizza was going to be in the United Kingdom and not available in North America. Oh darn.
Then Pizza Hut announced that the pizza would be available in Canada starting this past Monday and running through November 25. Okay, so I do go to Canada quite a bit. And then I realized that I will be in Canada between now and November 25.
I haven't seen a Pizza Hut in Windsor, Ontario in my travels there. Turns out there are three locations in Windsor. Presumably one of those locations would deliver to downtown Windsor. So I could take advantage of my time across the border to get this pizza.
Assuming I choose to get this pizza, let's see what would be in store:
Instead of more cheese stuffed inside the crust, the pizza has Angus beef hot dogs — more like pigs in a blanket. You get ketchup and honey mustard dipping sauces to go along with your pizza.
The good news is that Heinz ketchup — the kind Pizza Hut is using — has sugar and not glucose-fructose (high-fructose corn syrup). The bad news is that living in Chicago has taught me never to eat a hot dog with a ketchup, even if that hot dog is stuffed inside a pizza.
Realistically, if this concoction has come to Canada, the U.S. debut can't be far behind. So I could wait until it reached a Pizza Hut closer to home. If not, then the U.S. might invade Canada for hot dog stuffed crust pizza.
But what do we really have here other than a novelty? A hot dog wrapped in pizza crust. Is that as good as or better than a hot dog I could get? Doubtful.
The rest of the pizza is Pizza Hut pizza. Depending on your vantage point, this is a wonderful or sad moment. The pizza itself isn't better or worse.
So the real temptation — other than crossing into Canada and telling customs that your purpose for entering Canada is to eat a hot dog stuffed crust pizza — is a hot dog in the back of a pizza slice.
So what?
The narrow niche of those who really need both can't be that high, even if the target audience is that high. The novelty of a hot dog stuffed in the crust of a pizza is the vast majority of the interest in the pizza.
McDonald's talks more about its coffee than its hamburgers. You wouldn't be talking about Pizza Hut's pizza if they didn't put a hot dog inside the crust.
Pizza Hut pulled back from a U.S. stunt where they offered free Pizza Hut pizzas for life if someone asked President Barack Obama or GOP challenger Gov. Mitt Romney whether they preferred pepperoni or sausage. Then again, "pizza for life" actually was 1 large pizza a week for 30 years. Couldn't even get the terms of lifetime pizza right.
Fast food places feel the need to spread themselves out to be more viable to more customers. If only they stuck to what they are/were good at doing. Who really goes to McDonald's because of the quality of their hamburgers?
People appreciate In 'n' Out for many reasons, but the simplicity of its menu is a calling card. The early McDonald's had a menu that simple: about 55 years ago.
In the world we live in, fast food chains have to rely more on bells and whistles to keep profit margins where they are. If only they relied instead on making good food. You can't eat bells and whistles.
photo credits: Pizza Hut, Huffington Post Canada
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