Balance of Food

Finding great burgers means eating some lesser burgers

Failure is when you don't try. — somebody famous, probably

If you recall our column from 2 weeks ago, we profiled an amazing burger, a rarity in our travels. If you are kissing princes, you kiss a few frogs (all with consent, of course).

So let's talk about another Cooking Channel and Food Network burger we found in Santa Monica, CA.

Texture is a primary reason why you might or might not like a food. Sauteed mushrooms taste good; raw mushrooms, not so much.

The Plan Check Burger may look like a regular cheeseburger but plays with the idea of texture: ketchup leather, schmaltz onions, and a crunch bun.

The burger includes mixed pickles and Americanized dashi cheese.

I discovered this burger thanks to Hayley Duff's obsession with hipster food. She acted out her obsession on The Real Girl's Kitchen by replicating the burger right down to the ketchup leather. (You can find her recipes). I remember that her Finnish model friend Laura was there to help.

I had the Father's Office burger in my head even before I made it down from San Francisco. I didn't think about the Plan Check burger until I accidentally walked past the Santa Monica location of Plan Check Burger at Ocean Avenue and Santa Monica Blvd.

One characteristic that I don't normally put on burgers that both Santa Monica burgers had was cheese. I prefer hamburgers to cheeseburgers but had to try each one as is. Dashi cheese sounded intriguing even if the cheese was Americanized.

When you meet real bravado and a damn fine burger

Unlike the Father’s Office burger, the Plan Check burger was about familiar tastes but different textures. Let's see what we got.

The burger did look like a regular cheeseburger even if the ketchup was square. Biting into the burger revealed a taste of a regular, above average cheeseburger.

The burger was juicy (greasy?), which was good. I couldn't taste the ketchup leather so I tried a bit of the ketchup leather separately. The ketchup leather was wonderful by itself but lost in the burger.

The Americanized dashi cheese dominated the taste without any visible dashi taste element. The cheese wasn't as bad as actual American cheese but there was no zing or flavor to be found. The other ingredients might have shined minus the cheese. Schmaltz onions sounded wonderful but you couldn’t spot them in the overall taste. The pickles were apparent and good. The crunch bun was invisible except for a negative texture experience.

The point of the Plan Check burger could be that the burger is supposed to taste like a regular cheeseburger. Guessing is fun unless you are hungry.

The fries were average, too salty, and not worth finishing. The fries come with the burger at Plan Check while the fries were extra at Father’s Office. The better fries were worth the extra money.

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The Santa Monica locations aren't the flagship for either burger, but that shouldn't matter too much. Both burgers offered unusual tastes and flavors. As someone with a fussy palette, I liked the idea of a burger to dazzle my taste buds. Father's Office won this battle because I could sense the tastes. The cheeses were a huge plus in the Father's Office burger and a gigantic minus in the Plan Check burger.

If I were going to pull a Hayley Duff, I would modify the Plan Check burger with a new plan.

Keep: Ketchup leather, Schmaltz onions, mixed pickles
Add: Mustard, preferably stone ground
Switch: Simple potato bun in for the panko-laden variety
Toss: the cheese, dashi or otherwise

This may sound like I am defeating the point of the Plan Check burger and showing I can do this better. This misses the true message of the Plan Check burger and the Father's Office burger. Applaud those who are rethinking food, whether we like the end result or not.

I wouldn't have thought about ketchup leather or Schmaltz onions. I might like dashi cheese if I ever have it. I was tantalized and tempted. The Plan Check cheeseburger was still an above average burger. Your tastes may vary.

The quest is the important task to discover new and exciting ways to make food fun and tasty. The Father's Office experience was a really nice stop in my burger search. The Plan Check burger was good but not great. They both was inspirational for what we can do with food.

photos credit: me

When you meet real bravado and a damn fine burger

I have not found the perfect burger. I thought I saw the perfect burger on television. I’ve seen a lot of "great" burgers on television so I was skeptical.

My obsession with the Cooking Channel and Food Network leads me to see lots of attempts at burgers that I would never eat. Odd combinations, mostly trying to cram too many ingredients, distracting us from what was supposed to be the primary point: the meat.

When I travel, I try and do food/restaurant research to pick and choose nice spots. When I was trapped a few extra days in California due to the polar vortex, I decided to spend a few days in Los Angeles.

I ended up staying in Santa Monica. I didn’t have much time to do research for either Santa Monica and Los Angeles.

I reached into the deep crevices of my brain and remembered an odd combination that I liked for a burger in Culver City.

The Office Burger at Father’s Office was the only burger that combined my favorite cheeses: blue and Gruyere. The arugula seemed fine. The burger also has a bacon caramelized onion jam cooked for a long time. The bun was more of a roll with the sides cut off. This seemed like a burger for adult tastes.

Sang Yoon was also known for having no exceptions. Most places don’t care what you do with their burgers. Yoon cared. This intrigued me. False bravado is horrible but real bravado is exciting.

I first found out about Father’s Office through Bite This with Nadia G, goddess of Bitchin’ Kitchen, who is from Montréal, one of my favorite eating cities.

I didn’t have to go to Culver City for the burger since Father’s Office has a Santa Monica location.

The route to Father’s Office went through the Third Street Promenade (think outdoor pedestrian mall) through quite suburban streets before you get to 10th Street and Montana.

Walking into Father’s Office, you realize you are in for a dark environment. You also have to order at the bar. I did not care since I really wanted this burger. The upsell to skinny fries with garlic aioli was not on my mind, but I couldn’t resist.

The burger arrives in a basket with a good size portion of fries. The burger is cut in half.

The burger felt more like a sandwich than a burger. The tastes were a lovely but odd blend of sensations never before accumulated. They felt like adult tastes for a sophisticated palette.

It was a bit dark to tell if the burger was medium-rare. The first half felt a bit overdone but the second half had a better temperature. I realize that isn’t logical but it was so dark, I could only rely on my tongue.

Yoon was correct; no substitutions were needed.

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The fries turned out to be a lovely choice. Some of the best fries I’ve had in awhile. Thin and crispy was a good combo and the garlic aioli was well-made.

The Father’s Office burger is a gourmet gem of a sandwich, much less a burger.

The Food Network and Cooking Channel can lead you to above-average fare when you are traveling. Your mileage may vary on what you find appealing. I was thrilled to find a burger that matched my sophisticated tastes where I didn’t have to put it together. Sang Yoon managed to come up with something I enjoy that I didn’t have to imagine.

photos credit: me