"I thought you guys were all trying to force me to eat healthy. But I've learned that a lot of this stuff is made in a factory and processed with tons of salt, just like all my favorite foods. Spaghetti O's, Rice a Roni. Here I was thinking what you wanted was stuff from a farmers market. I just didn't want my food to change. School cafeteria meat is processed crap that comes in a box. And this is just processed crap that comes in a box. I don't have a problem with it. All I wanted was to be able to eat the same garbage I always have. And this is definitely garbage. And hey, if it happens to be more ethical and sustainable, well, I guess I'm fine with that too." — Eric Cartman, South Park, Let Them Eat Goo
The message from South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone is that fake burgers are heavily processed. Eric Cartman keeps having heart attacks just from the idea of eating plant-based foods. After his first heart attack, the school goes back to eating meat. After his second heart attack, a mysterious man comes to town to set up plant-based replacements for all the meat in town under the label of Incredible Foods.
The substance is green goo that is shipped through pipelines, hence the episode title Let Them Eat Goo. The goo man is serving "synthetically modulated plant protein" where "shitty food" is served by people who already eat "crappy food."
The secondary arc in the episode is Randy Marsh's Tegridy Burger from Tegridy Farms using the waste products from marijuana production to make a plant-based burger. They start selling their Tegridy Burger outside the Burger King and its Impossible Burger.
The Tegridy burger tastes really awful but the more you eat it, the better tasting the burger gets. The implication is that eating the Tegridy burger gets you high. The actual Tegridy Burger slogan is "Tastes like shit, you won't care."
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We did talk about the processed level of the Beyond Burger and Impossible Burger. Our argument was that if you ate the burgers every so often, you would be fine. Most of the ingredients are pretty obvious, which is why we labeled them as processed not ultra-processed.
You could take a portabella mushroom, remove the stem, marinate the mushroom with balsamic vinegar and some garlic powder. Put the marinated mushroom on the grill, outdoor or indoor, and place on a hamburger bun. Not processed and makes for a nice sandwich.
Processed food from better ingredients is better than processed food from lesser ingredients. There are plant-based foods that are minimally processed and processed to the hilt. Make a choice but make smart choices within that choice.
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Cartman fought the battle over plant-based meat 2 seasons ago when he fooled his vegan girlfriend Heidi into eating Kentucky Fried Chicken under the guise of Beyond KFC.
Parker and Stone are mocking the whole plant-based experience but more specifically the idea of replacing processed foods with processed foods. The taco meat filling at Taco Bell is also processed. Eating more simple can involve meat, vegetables, and mostly a bit of both.
photos credit: South Park/Comedy Central
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