Canadian Crossing

2014 Olympics notebook: Canada has 4 gold medals

Buddy Cole to the rescue.

Cole aka Scott Thompson is reporting for the "Colbert Report" this week on the Sochi Olympics. Or as Cole pronounces the Russia city, "so-shay."

This is Colbert's way of digging at Russia anti-gay laws. And who better to send than Cole/Thompson, both of whom are gay.

In Monday's episode, Cole interviews U.S. Ambassador Dan Baer who is also gay. In trying to act "straight," Cole riffs on vaginas.

Cole also asks about fashion choices, "How many zippers on an outfit could one have without appearing too gay." And equal rights: "All people should have the right to have terrible relationships."

As someone who found Cole a bit long-winded occasionally in his monologues on "Kids in the Hall," I found Thompson hit strong notes, especially in the interview. Thompson will talk with the U.S. speed skating team in tonight's "Colbert Report."

---

In the actual Olympics, Canada did temporarily grab the lead with 7 medals with the 3 gold medals being the tiebreaker. Norway is now in front with 11 medals and Canada is second with 9 medals. Both countries have 4 gold medals.

Short track Canadian speed skater Charles Hamelin won gold in the men's 1,500 metres. Hamelin had previously won 2 gold and a silver in the 2006 and 2010 Olympics. He is now 3 medals away from having the more medals of any Canadian Olympian.

Alex Bilodeau won the gold medal in men's moguls and teammate Mikaël Kingsbury grabbed the silver. Marc-Antoine Gagnon just missed bronze. Bilodeau became the first man to ever successfully defend the men's Olympic moguls crown.

Dara Howell won Canada's 4th gold medal and Kim Lamarre took bronze in the women's ski slopestyle event on Tuesday.

---

Deadspin has a great map of CBC coverage in the United States for Olympic coverage purposes. The map also illustrates potential NHL coverage, great news and documentary programming, and a whole lot more. Too bad we can't get CBC on cable throughout the United States.

The site invites people to respond if they get the CBC in the States and aren't on the map.

---

We know the 6 countries that will advance in the 2014 Olympics women's hockey pool. We also know that the United States and Canada, regardless of what they do on Wednesday, have clinched semifinal berths.

The Finland-Switzerland loser on Wednesday will face the Sweden/Russia winner on Thursday, the top seed from Group B. The winner will draw the Sweden/Russia loser.

In practical terms, the U.S. and Canada want to avoid playing Finland in a semifinal. By winning on Wednesday, the winner will draw the lower seed.

The two North American countries will get to rest and practice until February 17. CBC will carry the semifinals in Canada while NBCSN (7:30 am) and MSNBC (noon) will split the telecasts. Monday is a holiday in certain provinces and Presidents Day in the States, so at-home viewing may be on the rise.

---

There has been a bit of coverage in Canada about the dominance of La Belle Province in the medals category.

To me, Canada is Canada and as much as I love Quebec, I love Quebec as part of Canada. But within Canada, for some, where the Olympic medalists are from does matter. And not just in Quebec.

---

video credit: Colbert Report/image credit: Deadspin.com

Rob Ford retrospective

We just passed the 1-year anniversary of Rob Ford being removed from office. That's right: Rob Ford ran into a conflict of interest issue that had nothing to do with crack.

Those in the States came off a Thanksgiving weekend where Rob Ford may have come up in conversation. And you might have been only armed with recent Rob Ford stories from CanadianCrossing.com.

Rob Ford was controversial well before the U.S. media and late-night commentators discovered him. To be fair, our first major article on Ford was when Keith Olbermann made Ford the "Worst Person in the World" after the mayor's overreaction to "This Hour Has 22 Minutes."

Homophobic and racist remarks -- and that was just in the crack video.

As a public service, we wanted you to have one main page full of Rob Ford stories, pre-crack and post-crack. We know there will be more Rob Ford stories down the road. But this will make for some fun reading.

Pre-crack

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford wins Keith Olbermann's 'Worst Person in the World' (11/1/2011)

Toronto has more than usual number of gun deaths, but still safer than U.S. (7/25/2012)

How Rob Ford spent (part of) my summer vacation (8/21/2012)

Battle of intense mayors: Toronto's Rob Ford visits Chicago's Rahm Emanuel (9/19/2012)

Toronto highs and lows: Argos way up, Rob Ford down and out (11/28/2012)

Post-crack

Canadian politics notebook: Rob Ford's alleged crack use (5/19/2013)

Daily Show pokes fun at Rob Ford's (alleged) crack (5/22/2013)

Rob Ford (finally) admits smoking crack cocaine, but lies continue (11/6/2013)

Rob Ford: Liability to Toronto Argonauts (11/15/2013)

Rob Ford makes negative impact on Toronto's Grey Cup quest (11/18/2013)

Rob Ford looks better in the eyes of the U.S. media (11/20/2013)

CTV kicks out 'Colbert Report' for NBC sim sub

One of the joys of having "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and the "Colbert Report" make fun of Canada is that Canadians had two outlets to catch the shows. Canadians even had a non-cable option in CTV to check the shows.

Well, they can still catch "The Daily Show" on CTV.

Since September, the "Colbert Report" has only been available on the Comedy Channel. The "Daily Show" airs on both the Comedy Channel and CTV.

CTV replaced Colbert with a sim sub of "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" and the NBC feed. The Canadian network could have moved Colbert to CTV2, but would rather show reruns of "Criminal Minds."

Quite frankly, Colbert on many nights outshines the Daily Show. And showing one and not the other feels like separating twins at birth. CTV is clearly motivated by the lucrative sim sub of Jimmy Fallon's show, even late night.

One potential hope is whether this relationship will continue when Jimmy Fallon moves to the "Tonight Show" in February. Yes, Seth Meyers takes over the "Late Night" franchise, but that show might not be as lucrative to CTV.

Canadians can see both programs make fun of Canada on the Comedy Channel Monday-Thursday at 11 pm Eastern. And still see the Daily Show at 12:05 am Eastern on CTV.

Rob Ford: Liability to Toronto Argonauts

"And the last thing was (Ford's former staffer) Olivia Gondek. It says I wanted to eat her pussy, I've never said that in my life to her, I would never do that. I'm happily married, I've got more than enough to eat at home."

The Toronto Argonauts wish that this was the last thing Rob Ford said.

"And the next thing, I wanna call Mayor [Bob] Britannia [Bratina] in Hamilton and tell him we’re going to spank the little Tiger-Cats."

The Toronto Argonauts disassociated themselves from Ford for his comments. Hamilton's mayor, whose name Ford messed up, said there would be no wagering between the two mayors for Sunday's East final.

Video clip (NSFW)

"These latest remarks, while wearing our team’s jersey, are particularly disappointing given our organization's work in the community to help youth deal with issues of bullying prevention." — from a release by the Argos.

Ford offered an apology for his sexually explicit language later in the day. But his apology came in a suit and tie, no longer wearing the Argos jersey.

The Argos host the CFL East final Sunday afternoon at Rogers Centre. Rob Ford likes football more than drinking and crack combined. So will Ford show up at the game?

Chris Rudge, CEO, Toronto Argonauts, said Ford has not been invited to the game. But like any other person, Ford could buy a ticket and attend on his own.

Canadian Football League Commissioner Mark Cohon was more emphatic.

"We believe it would be better for Mr. Ford to focus on his challenges right now," Cohon said. "And the fairest thing to our athletes and fans would be to keep the focus Sunday on the game."

And if Toronto wins on Sunday, there is the Grey Cup in Regina. And yes, Ford has a track record of traveling for football. Long-time readers will recall Ford's trip to Edmonton and Calgary in August 2012 that paralleled my own journey in the province.

Given how little that Ford remembers of his exploits, you can't give much credence to "I've never said that in my life to her."

The objection to the p-word was best summarized by CP24 reporter Katie Simpson when she wondered out loud whether the channel could broadcast the word just after they did. Canadian outlets have an easier time broadcasting certain words in a news context.

In the three major TV nightly newscasts — CBC, CTV, and Global — only Global bleeped out the p-word, and even bleeped out the word "eat." Peter Mansbridge (CBC) and Lisa LaFlamme (CTV) both issued strong warnings before airing the clip.

You know it's bad when "spank their little Tiger-Cats" is the part the CFL doesn't mind. Wonder if those in the States know what Ford meant by that phrase.

The last thing the CFL wants to deal with for the 101st Grey Cup is Rob Ford in Regina. The second to last thing the CFL wants is Rob Ford to make the short trek to the Rogers Centre on Sunday.

Oh, and the CFL wishes that Ford would refrain from wearing its jerseys, especially when speaking about alleged oral sex at a news conference.

---

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Colbert Report had outstanding reactions to the latest Rob Ford chapter. Click on the links in the previous sentence to see those wonderful clips.

 

photo credits: CBC; Tyler Anderson / National Post

Chris Hadfield, Canada's cool astronaut, now leads International Space Station

Chris Hadfield is the first Canadian to walk in space and today becomes the first Canadian to lead the International Space Station.

Yet Hadfield's coolness level extends well beyond being in space.

Hadfield had an exchange with another famous Canadian in space, though William Shatner only did that on television. Their conversation went so well that Hadfield invited Shatner to meet him face-to-face at his Ontario cottage, once he's back on Earth.

Hadfield has sung with Ed Robertson and the Barenaked Ladies while in space. And he has had a Twitter chat with the actors who played Kirk, Spock, Sulu, and Wesley Crusher as well as a real-life astronaut, Buzz Aldrin.

In fact, Hadfield is serious about working on the first album to be recorded in space. The first track, Jewel in the Night, came out late in 2012. Hadfield and Robertson premiered their song, I.S.S. (Is Somebody Singing), last month.

Hadfield has even inspired a comic based on his quotes.

Stephen Colbert showed Hadfield making a peanut butter and honey sandwich on a tortilla in space. Showing how everyday activities happen in space is a great way to humanize the space program. And Hadfield feels really at ease doing so.

As for the future, Hadfield was asked if he would consider a one-way journey to Mars, "I would be honoured to be given the opportunity."

In a world where fewer people are going to space, the most well-known and coolest current astronaut on or around the planet Earth is Canadian.

Hadfield has been in space since December 19; the shuttle is expected back on Earth on May 14.

Photo credit: NASA/Canadian Press/Reuters

Could Marc Cardinal Ouellet be the first Canadian pope?

If Marc Cardinal Ouellet does become the new pope of the Catholic Church, he would be the first non-European pope since Gregory III, whose reign ended in 741. But every non-European pope has come from a place that borders the Mediterranean Sea, so Ouellet would be the first non lots of things pope.

The Catholic cardinals conclave starts today, and if recent activity is a sign, we should know really soon whether Ouellet or another cardinal is the new pope and head of the Roman Catholic Church.

Ouellet at 68 is at a good age for the job, experienced but not too old. And oddsmakers, for a variety of reasons, like Ouellet's chances of becoming pope.

Ouellet served as a parish priest in La Motte, Quebec, archibishop of Quebec City, and later a cardinal. Ouellet has seen a transformation of church and society in his years in Quebec. Becoming a priest as the Quiet Revolution started, he has seen the church's power and impact dramatically fall within his home province.

He also has a connection to Latin America, having served as a missionary and professor in Colombia in the 1970s and 1980s. Knowing Spanish well doesn't hurt his chances.

The consensus in reaching out beyond the traditional realms is that Rome wouldn't elect an "American" pope. But a French-Canadian who has worked in Latin America would be a lot harder to resist.

The logic of a pope from North America leading to a more liberal pope won't be the case if Ouellet is elevated to the top spot. Ouellet is similar in thought to Pope Benedict XVI, though Ouellet has shown more sense in approaching the sexual abuse scandals that have plagued the church.

In watching Peter Mansbridge interview Ouellet, you got the sense that Ouellet is a very thoughtful person, very shy about himself, and trying to show that he would be ready without seeming too ready. Even if French is his primary language and he knows Spanish, having a pontiff who can conduct himself so freely in English would be significant change indeed.

In 1978, when Pope John Paul II took over for the very short-termed Pope John Paul I, the hype was over electing a non-Italian pope, the first since Pope Adrian VI in 1523. Pope John Paul II had the second-longest stint as pope and certainly changed minds over the requirement that the pope be Italian. Pope Benedict XVI being German was more of a novelty than a "scandal" for being another non-Italian pope. And only one of the frontrunners this time around is Italian.

Electing a non-European pope who is North American would still be a huge step for a church where progress comes slow, if at all. But electing a pope from a different part of the world is becoming less shocking over the years.

What this means for Canada? It was fun watching the Canadian media freak out when Stephen Colbert had a bit of fun with the idea of a Canadian pope saying "sorry" and replacing the staff with a hockey stick. Maybe they were worried that the world would perceive a Canadian pope in that manner.

Then again, the French Canadian stereotypes would be more prevalent since Ouellet is a Francophone from Quebec. Such as using maple syrup instead of wine and wearing beaver pelts (only jokes).

Still, having a Canadian pope would put Canada on the world stage in an area previously thought not possible. And even if Ouellet doesn't get the top job, the fact that a Canadian is being seriously considered for pope is a sign of how far Canada and the rest of the world has come in the Catholic Church.

photo credit: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty Images
video credit: CBC/The National

Stephen Colbert says there's no Santa Claus ... in Canada

The story seemed pretty small: a 24-year-old man in Kingston, Ontario jumped into the Santa Claus parade and told children that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

Stephen Colbert turned that into telling his viewers that Santa Claus doesn't exist … in Canada.

Colbert admonished the "Canadian grinch" for letting the cat out of the bag "or as they say in Canada, let the beaver out of the beaver pelt satchel."

Colbert did point out that Santa flies over Canada to get to the United States, and sometimes stops off at Tim Hortons so the reindeer can use the bathroom.

All was not lost, since Colbert pointed out that Canadian boys and girls do have Canadian Santa. Canadian Santa is when a different celebrity each year dresses up as Santa Claus.

Last year, singer Nelly Furtado was Santa Claus. This year, Rush (friend of Colbert's show) would get the honor. So this year, Colbert said, if you hear a jingle on the roof, that would be "Neil Peart breaking into a 45-minute hi-hat solo."

Canadian Santa sounds like a fun idea. I wouldn't mind sitting on the lap of Sarah McLachlan Claus or Laura Calder Claus. Canadian Santa would know the difference between the Winnipeg Jets and the Winnipeg Blue Bombers (American Santa might get that confused). Canadian Santa would also know that Newfoundland and Labrador is a half-hour ahead of its fellow Maritime provinces.

Yes, Colbert is on a roll these days with making fun of Canada. But that was pretty funny. And Colbert wouldn't make fun of Canada this much if he didn't secretly like the Great White North.

And yes, Stephen Colbert, Canadian Christmas is also December 25.

The Colbert Report airs Monday-Thursday nights on Comedy Channel and CTV in Canada and Comedy Central in the United States.

Stephen Colbert takes another potshot at Windsor in his new book

This wasn't the first time Stephen Colbert has taken a shot at Windsor, Ontario, Canada, but seeing the latest attack in print has caused yet another uproar on the Canadian side.

After having recently spent less than a week in Windsor, I can assure the American portion of my readership that the city is not "Earth's rectum." The city is the southernmost part of the country, so warm is a relative description.

Visually, the city is tucked underneath so maybe the geography inspired Colbert's joke. Or more than likely, Windsor is more of a punchline than other Canadian cities.

Colbert responded to a CBC article noting the joke in his newest book, America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't. Colbert had fun with the article and CBC poll in Wednesday's episode.

"Before we can harness geothermal power, we have to take the planet's temperature with a geothermometer. And I have no idea where the Earth's rectum is!" -- Colbert writes in the book.

The footnote at the bottom of the page reads "Windsor, Canada?"

Colbert took off on the CBC for phrasing the footnote as a statement, leaving out the crucial question mark.

Colbert also took off on the CBC for running a poll "Is Stephen Colbert's description of Windsor as 'the Earth's rectum' good or bad for the city?" The "good" votes were running 5-1 when this reporter took the poll.

Colbert called Windsor "the worst place on Earth" 5 years ago during his Word segment on The Colbert Report.

On the segment on Wednesday, Colbert noted that the source could be anywhere, including Winnipeg. After all, Rob Ford confused Winnipeg and Windsor back in September on a trip in Chicago.

Stephen Colbert did his show from Canada during the Vancouver Olympics in 2010. And Colbert clearly has an affinity for the country with his jokes. A Facebook group has started a drive to get Colbert to host his show from Windsor.

Let's face it: Windsor is going to suffer its share of jokes, as is Detroit. Southern Ontario has many towns that aren't as well known enough to make fun of them. Windsor is a known commodity and thanks to its exposure along the U.S.-Canada border, Windsor will occasionally be the butt (get it, butt, rectum) of jokes.

Yes, the Colbert Report airs Monday-Thursday in Canada on the Comedy Channel and CTV and on Comedy Central in the United States.

Stephen Colbert having 'trouble' handling that Canadians are richer than Americans

You knew Stephen Colbert wouldn't let the story of Canadians being richer than Americans get away from him, but his "outrage" came sooner than we expected.

Colbert mocked Canada for its "pelt-based economy" and "for pete's sake, they have ducks on their money." Actually, they're loonies, and the Canadian dollar is trading on par with the American greenback.

Colbert had some more fun by quoting Vancouver's Douglas Haddow, who writes for The Guardian, and representing him as a beaver.

"... revelling in America's fall from the top is ultimately un-Canadian. ... Being richer than an America that has seen its blue-collar cities gutted and its middle class begin to hollow out is a rather empty sort of victory. Especially when you begin to suspect that we're not actually winning, we're just losing more slowly."

Stephen Colbert added the story that has been floating around that new $50 and $100 Canadian bills, made from polymer, were melting in high temperatures. "Leave it to the Canucks to print a currency that works only in ice rinks."

Despite a number of reports, we also saw stories that questioned whether this was happening. The Canadian Mint came out and said the bills can withstand temperatures up to 140° C.

"Celsius does not work. Your water boils at 100 degrees. Ours can get all the way up to 212. That's why our money is tougher. In the meantime, you enjoy that global warming, eh?"

Haddow may have had it right. Canadians have a lot of personal debt. Their homes aren't as underwater as American homes. Toronto and Vancouver have housing boons that will eventually fall.

A stronger banking system, less federal deficit and debt, and a considerable oil supply, and Canada is in rather good shape. Even Stephen Colbert can see that, even if he doesn't like hearing that news.

Richard Ford talks Canadian sensibility on 'Colbert Report'

Richard Ford's latest novel is called "Canada" and part of the story takes place in Saskatchewan. The interview with Stephen Colbert on the "Colbert Report" made it clear that Ford's experience in Canada inspired him to set part of the book and give the novel its title.

Ford talked about the time after George W. Bush became president.

"I drove across the border from Montana where I live to Saskatchewan and I felt the weight of the world lift off of me. I felt something marvelous had happened to me, some sense of elation. Well, I realized that I felt that every time I went to Canada. It wasn't just about not being in a country where George Bush was the president. It actually I thought had to do with Canada; there was something saving and tolerating and wonderful about Canada."

Colbert said he had a similar experience in Vancouver, where he went during the Olympics on 2010, but blamed it on a contact high.

Colbert asked Ford if there was something about the Canadian character that is different than the American character.

"Well, everybody's not armed there, for one thing."

Ford said he had been inspired to write this book since 1989. The logical assumption is that this was the first time Ford had gone to Canada.

He grew up in Mississippi, nowhere near Canada. Living in Montana makes the trip to Canada much easier. Ford clearly took advantage of those opportunities, and decided to pay tribute to a country he clearly enjoys. And his accolades for the Great White North were well-written, even if he just said them to Stephen Colbert.

Ford's book "Independence Day" became the first novel to win the PEN/Faulkner Award and the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.